Funny how things work and sometimes don't work, and the twists and turns of life can leave you dizzy and breathless but in the end, I guess if you have patience and determination you can weather any storm.
Back in High School and then again freshman year at Stanford Zach and I had talked about our future many times, just as Alex and Tony did also
...and funny how it all came about and so suddenly I
think but the truth is there was really never any question in any of our minds about what we wanted. We wanted more than almost anything else to be married to each other. Me and Zach and Alex and Tony the same.
.and we all talked about it together when we got home for Christmas that first year of college and discussed telling the 'rents we wanted to get hitched, but then we all got cold feet and didn't. Hah.
But then when we got home that next summer we did tell them and their reaction was not what we had expected. In
fact we were
kinda stunned and I guess I felt just a bit blindsided. We knew they knew what had been going on and for a long time with us. Zach was living with me and Tony had moved in with Alex, so what is the big deal? But, we didn't have the final say. For all practical
purposes we WERE married
...and it felt like it, but...
"Honey," mom said to me.
"Your father and I have talked about this and with Zach and Tony's parents too
...and we all agree that you should wait until after you graduate."
I think she saw in my
face my shock when she said that.
"Honey it isn't that we don't love Zach, we DO and Tony too of course. But we think you and your brother both and
them too need this time to make absolutely sure. Marriage is a big step. A big commitment. You guys are all still so young."
They took the same approach with Alex and Tony, and especially since we had said we wanted a joint ceremony which I think surprised them and I have no idea why. Made perfect sense to all of us. I mean to be
honest we were living already as if we were married, you know. I mean, well
...but, we couldn't pay for the weddings ourselves and if we wanted parental help, and we needed it,
urgh.
SO, like it or not unless we eloped and none of us ever seriously considered that, it
was wait until college was done. Undergraduate school at least. But finally there we were
...done and when it
happened it almost seemed kinda odd which to us didn't make a lot of sense but then we are nuts. It just seemed like after all the
waiting that when it
happened it was virtually
suddenly. Anyway, the summer after senior year and commencement arrived and by GOD we did do the deed.
AT LONG LAST YES. AND
BOY WAS IT A CLASS ACT AFFAIR. OH GOD YES, BIG wedding with all the trimmings and in our church which has a really large sanctuary and then the reception at the country club and I think the entire western half of the state showed up. Actually from several states. We had cousins come in from Ohio and California, and Tony had several from New York and Washington state, and a lot of Zach's family came from New Jersey and New York and Maryland.
My GOD. In all there were over 1200 guests at the church and over 1700 at the reception and we had a band and a comic and a buffet to die for and dancing and drinking and merriment and omg, were we something. Even one of the local TV stations and two of the newspapers in the area covered it. Guess being from prominent families does help. All day long I kept pinching myself and so did Zach and I know Alex and Tony were almost beside themselves with how breathtakingly beautiful it all was. The decorations, the service
itself which was incredibly moving. The friends and family all gathered to pay
us respects and to wish us all Godspeed and happy times. It was all just incredibly unbelievable.
I laughed as my younger brother got all teary-eyed during the service. Poor kid, and fortunately
few laughed. Most knew how he felt. He and I had always been close and now I suppose it felt like he was losing me, which of course was
natural but I did my best after the ceremony to reassure him that I would always be there for him.
"Oh my honey, don't you look just beautiful," our old friend Annamae said and all I could do
was nod my head in appreciation I was so overcome with emotion.
"You know we all have to learn how to be a couple and how to traverse this thing called life for ourselves. There is no formula. But Dylan, you have a beautiful man there and you are smart and intuitive. I KNOW you will do JUST fine. Your brother too. YOU are all SO lucky."
I nodded some more and we hugged and I just kept crying.
One of the happiest moments and days of our lives, and I was so happy I couldn't stop crying. I was a MESS, lol. Oh yes I was and it's a wonder my dearly beloved didn't ditch me right then and there.
Suddenly it was all over. The wedding and the celebration, the reception
...the hugs and kisses and well-wishes and the food and the dancing and...
Then it was time for the
...WHOO HOO...THE HONEYMOON' to begin:
Our folks all gave us our honeymoon trips and boy were we feeling special.
Zach and I left the next day and flew first to New York and then on to London. After a day there we went on to Ireland and Scotland while Alex and Tony in the meantime flew to Australia and New Zealand. Three and a half weeks of honeymoon for all of us and GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY did we ever. Yes
indeedy doo. Zach and I had a seaside cottage all to ourselves in both Ireland and Scotland. So
kewl. We dined and made love and slept and made love and made love and...
Well you get the idea. HONEY
...moon, Tah Dah. Tah DUH.
Then back to London for two and a half days, and...
then it was time to come home and for some inexplicable reason we were ready and so we did. We arrived at Gerald R Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids about an hour ahead of Alex and Tony, so we waited for them
...and it was all so fantastic. We all had so much to share and couldn't wait. We packed all our stuff and goodies accumulated on our trips into our Escalade and made our way back HOME, home. Yes
...home, but maybe not for much longer? But would it not always feel like home? It always had been
...but the truth was we didn't know.
That night we watched videos of both our trips, (
yes we did get out some and so did
they and took movies and pics of what we saw). The oohs and aahs
...were worth the trouble and it was a fun night. THEN reality set in. OMG, WE ARE MARRIED.
I looked at Alex at breakfast the next morning and knew he was thinking the same thing. OMG, WE ARE MARRIED
...and loving it. This wasn't a fairy tale, and we weren't just looking forward to it and planning for this day. No. We had done the deed and had the honeymoon and we were now OFFICIALLY married. OMG.
I looked at Zach as he sat leaning against me and holding my hand and kissing me off and on. Mother came and sat with us and just kept smiling A knowing smile. But of course she did know how we all felt. She had gone through this too.
I have now told her since that I am glad that we had her and
dad as our love role models. They really love each other and it was a good example to set.
I looked over at Alex and Tony and they looked just so much in love, and I thought. What makes us different. What? As opposed to straight couples I mean. For one thing, nothing. Absolutely nothing. I knew at that moment we were just like any other pair of newlywed couples. NOTHING
sets us apart and nothing ever would.
We have the same dreams and hopes and love in our hearts for our mates as ANY other newlywed couple. NOTHING
sets us apart. Nothing and that made me smile. There are always those who seem to want or even need to separate other people into boxes and label us and make groupings and the sad truth is that that often divides us more than anything else. But I maintain that the bottom line is we are all the same when you get down to it. We have love and aspirations just like everyone else. I just wish everyone could see that in our hearts we ALL are just like everyone else on the planet. No different.
Course we all had graduate school to do and we were looking forward to it. The gang of 'rents as we now refer to them had all pitched in and gotten us nicer digs at Stanford and Cambridge and we were all
a'twitter to say the least.
We went and conquered oh yes we did and did the deed so to speak. THEN...
FLYING COLORS GRADUATION after about 15 months of studying our asses off. Suddenly we realized that school was done for good. Omg
...and we all came home to celebrate and prepare for our REAL journey to begin. LIFE was about to begin again and continue and here we go and omg. Another Sea Change in the making and...
WE FIGURED WE WERE READY. YES WE DID, but...
WERE WE?
Time would tell oh yes it would.
The journey starts here. The adventure of a lifetime of being with the one we love, and...
STARTS NOW:
__________________________________________________________
CONTINUE TO CHAPTER XIV:
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