I stood looking out at the
scene before me, not really looking, not really seeing, and yet...
I was not so blissfully trying to reconstruct in my now tattered mind just what had transpired out here last night. It had started out so peacefully and so uneventfully and I never would have thought that what had happened ever would
...
but then did.
But let me start at the beginning or somewhere close to it. None of that skipping to the last page stuff. Okay?
The evening had started off normally enough. My friend Zach and I had gone into town and over to Mickey D's (McDonald's to the
unitiated and uninformed) to round up some grub
...namely burgers, fries, onion rings,
cokes...and thanks to the 'rents (mine)
..{although they were and still are totally in the dark about all this or will be until they read this
hehehe} AND my older brother Alex who also pitched in (and btw his parentage I still question every day to which he just laughs. REALLY EVIL LAUGH TOO.) Anyway, we had acquired some Michelob refreshments of the slight buzz variety and being really new at this drinking thing, let's just say we are really cheap dates. Drunk just from opening the bottles, and sniffing. LOL.
My parents and Zach's parents had gone to Chicago for the weekend (and THANK GOD with the siblings except for my brother Alex who was off
somewhere doing God knows what and I never ask and he never tells
...and I didn't envy them either knowing the
sibs as I do)
...and so we were free as eagles and this being Friday night of what we hoped would be a memorable weekend of fun and frivolity, albeit as yet undefined, and thus we commenced calmly and sanely enough, I think.
SO FAR.
Yep, memorable we thought and boy were we right. Only not in the way I might have expected, and I suspected Zach was a bit more into the "Intending to make this weekend ONE TO REMEMBER" memorable shit, but so far I was clueless and what else is new. Trust me, that board game CLUE? Not a chance, nada, zip it is named for
moi.
Hehehee.
After talking with some peeps at Mickey D's, we headed back to
ye olde family homestead, and dragging all the goodies in bags we made our way back to 'MY SECRET PLACE'
...so named cause the entire world and several people on URANUS know about it but I pretend they don't and so...
Now mind you, this is about a year after Zach and his family moved here from some exotic place like Des Moinespoo or Minnetonka or Sweatshit
Mo or something and he and I became fast friends almost immediately. Okay
...two minutes and we were good to go.
I still don't quite know how that all
happened but it did and ok, so be it far as I am concerned. Just instantly it was and has been ever since
...really easy with Zach you know? We just click,
Yeh. On some metaphysical plane (a Boeing 767 I am sure) reserved normally for monks and chimps and the
like...and we share a lot of likes, and can both talk like magpies
on drugs or be silent as church mice during High Silence Week at the Monastery.
Tonight though was up for grabs as to which it would be but it never mattered to either of us. We just go with whatever happens. We like movies, we like the same music, we both like to
read and both of us write and he paints and I don't and we both play guitar and keyboards, and he plays a mean sax and I diddle on the fiddle a little,
sorta.We do the same in some things and complement/enhance in other ways and it just kinda
sorta...WORKS,
yah know?
Yeh, and it has been like that from day one.
Weird maybe, but there you have it and I have spent ZILCH time trying to
figger out why and shit like that. I'm
kewl with Zach and always have been and he seems
kewl with me so why complicate it with "I WONDER WHY" and OMG how did this happen and all that hokey bull. It just is. Period."
He is in track and I am not and we both are varsity swimmers and I like tennis and so does he and
...we play
together especially well in lots of ways, although I have never stopped to think much about any of it and
figgered he hadn't
either which is weird, cause I am pretty introspective and so is
Zach and so why neither of us didn't or at least I didn't
sorta might seem odd, but
...oh well.
Yeh, we just really
kinda git along. We're
sorta like the git-along of little doggies (or Doagies) fame, but taller and thinner and WE speak English. LOL.
I have always been a bit of a
loner although I do have a lot of so-called buds, (a few even bloom in the spring, or when drunk)
...and he is about the same except he is new here and so my friends are his friends and I don't mind sharing and he is
kewl with that. (I see the looks he gets and I just know more would dearly love to maybe get a lot closer
to
Zach but he is content with me and my gang, and I am
kewl with
that trust me.
Besides I have a glare that can melt plastic. One eyebrow does its work and they just
kinda all melt into the wallpaper. Really
sorta notorious for that and that comes from my mother.
Hahaha.
Anyway so we definitely
click, and he is the first person in a
long long time that I have turned on to my secret place. It
is a place way out back behind the house, way back, and there is a spot where dad put some benches and chairs years ago out by the now nearly decrepit marina (no boat there any longer) and for some weird reason nobody ever goes out there anymore. Except me. I love it.
Great place to sit or lounge around, buck
nekkid if I want
...and muse and ruminate and think and toss ideas and dreams out against the sky and see what bounces back. It is a really
kewl idyll and Zach took to it right off. That is when I knew he was a good fit.
For the strait
jacket of course
...cause I
am told I drive everyone I know or am related to CRAZY. Least my older
brother Lord Doofus says that and why I haven't killed him yet is a miracle. Ran out of
bullets perhaps. He seems to be convinced he is a descendant of Alexander The Great, while I am convinced he is Alex the grating
...which he does to my senses, but only when he is breathing. He is TALL AS FUCK and has a brain that science would absolutely kill to get their hands on for reasons I have chosen to ignore and never want to scrutinize too closely, not even at gunpoint. Nope, not me. Better left in the ether.
Alex is the quintessential 'BIG BROTHER FROM HELL', and he LIVES to drive me bonkers all the while telling the 'rents how cute and sweet I am and how he just loves me to death, and I sleep with one eye open for a week after every time he says that because I am convinced he absolutely positively without question means it. I just don't know why except I think that when he realized I was a menace to his desire (and obviously prime objective) of being the only child when I was
born he went slightly daft and has been plotting ever since to once again become the fair haired and only boy or child. Course now that we have a younger brother and
sister he has his work cut out for him, concealing that many bodies and dastardly acts of criminal intent.
INTENSE is his middle name. Oh trust me he is intense, and I keep waiting for him to melt down or something.
Anyway, Zach and I got
our selves and our stash of
goodies including the beer hauled out back and we settled in for a night of merriment, drunken slumbers and mayhem of the figurative variety of
course.
We polished off our burgers pretty
quick hungry tykes that we are, and the fries and onion rings went next. Then the cokes languished as the beer got scrutinized, pondered, mused about, fussed over, stroked repeatedly, and then OPENED.
He grinned at me, I grinned at me and him, (neat trick too)
and we both took a slug and promptly fell asleep. BOOM. Ok, we just
pretended but...
We went through the first beer pretty quick
...CAUSE of course (and I add DUH here) we had to prove to ourselves and especially to each other that...
WE COULD.
Then we both opened our second beers just to prove, tah dah, to each other, tah dah, that we could handle MORE THAN ONE FUCKING BEER, GOD DAMMIT, before we fell off the blanket and lost our grip on a blade of grass and fell off the earth, and began to snore. I feared for our safety if the Hells Devils or whatever came upon us and decided to vandalize our, um, shit. But since we
ain't got nuffin to steal
...too bad.
Hahaha, and trust
me nobody in their right mind would pay ransom for either of our sorry asses. They would just laugh and say call us when
you done with them
two. Geez.
We made short work of the 2nd beer too, well Zach did and finished a bit ahead of me. KEWL. I got me a
drinkypooer here. Giggle, oh God.
Then Zach leaned in and reached over to get another beer, BIG DUDE ON CAMPUS HEAH, and that was
kewl...and as he did his face was
right in front of mine, and so close I could feel his chin hairs
...all two of them.
Haha...and that was
kewl. Then suddenly I realized he wasn't moving. Just still life.
Yeh,
big man on canvas
...and I went
to myself, um ok. But suddenly my heart started to race and I began to feel a tingle in a place I normally don't, at least not ever (so far) with a dude. Shivered.
Then I stopped
breathing I think and he just stayed in that position. Like a tableau at Christmas time. Not looking at me, not moving, not ANYTHING, except being so close that I think my mind went to the north pole to cool off. Hi Santa. God, is it warm, no HOT...or what?
It was SO still and SOOOO quiet I could hear Zach's blood coursing through his veins and I wondered why it was in such a hurry
...or was that MY blood and I wanted to holler
...SLOW DOWN, speed limits
heah yah know
...and then I lost
conciousness and they came and collected my body but then decided it was worthless and so...
He sat there so close
og, SO close
...not moving either of us saying or doing anything
...nothing, and it was as if all life had come to a standstill, and I realized my brain was gone. My mind was so much mush and oozing out my ears or something.
I was sitting like a statue just looking at him, at his profile, at his chin hairs again, at his sideburns and why had I never noticed how even and how gorgeous they are and I wasn't breathing.
(Mirror in front of face. NOPE. NO BREATHING HERE!)
HE WAS SOOO CLOSE to me, GOD he was SOOO close
...his face almost touching mine, and his right knee and leg WERE touching mine and there was a slight movement from both of us and wouldn't this be a lovely time for music like maybe a death march or something and it was like being frozen in time although our legs were REALLY LIVELY for being dead and all, UNTIL..
MY GOD will someone make sense of this and tell me what day this is and what planet am I on and
...OH HELLO HOLY FUCK.
Suddenly he turned and in a split second
...in one REALLY QUICK thrust he moved in and BAM!
Our lips met and locked. Locked and loaded. Razor quick my hair stood on end. WHOA!
I was stunned, and yet...
I was repulsed by him kissing me,
sorta shocked and stunned and for some reason I had no clue about...
AFRAID,..
and yet...
uh,
um uh...
then on the other hand.
Um...uh...NO, um
...shit.
fuck, damn.
G O D D A M N!
WHAT IS HAPPENING...TO ME,
as I began to feel myself responding to him, kissing him back.
KISSING HIM BA
...WHOA! You
gotta be
kidd...no I guess not. Whew.
I need a tic
tac and a nap and a case of
SOMTHING REALLY STRONG, and not necessarily in that order. BEER, CYANIDE, SOMETHING. DYNAMITE,
no I think I already exploded.
Ok, so I am almost a senior in high school (another two months and I will be
kewl as shit) and Zach will be too. OKAY THEN. ALMOST A SENIOR, SOOOO
...certainly I should know how to deal with these things, these sudden spurts or
squirts or whatever of romance or lust or GOD WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME, TO HIM, TO US? What in HELL,
WTF?
Ok see...part of me wanted to RUN...LIKE HELL, over the river and through the woods
or...oh Hell
...WALLS if I had to, while the rest of me had NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER of going ANYWHERE until this kiss was over which the rest of me (how many parts of me is that now?) wanted that little episodic burst to be about January THE 12TH OF NEVER OR SO, IF EVER...SHIT...FUCK, HOT DAMN.......
NO DON'T
...STOP DON'T....
.PLEASE! DON'T
og...STOP
...OMG
...no, zzzzz.
His kisses were incredibly hungry (as if I am so experienced I have a catalog of various types of lip locks at the ready with full descriptions and a price list and all and
no not hardly). But I was pretty sure he thought mine
were too and that is predicated on the assumption his brain was working cause mine sure wasn't.
My brain I am here to tell you
...had dissolved into a molten
mess of very hot mush or Lava or Dial or, SOAP? Shoot
...please shoot me now. No, never mind. I am dead anyway. FUCK, mind
don't fail me...ok, too late.
He had his arms around me (and when did THAT happen) and one palm up behind my head urging my head slightly forward and I thought...
"I DON'T NEED ANY HELP thank you", but then I mentally slapped myself, and of course that helped SO much. I was beginning to think I might have permanent brain damage from all this thinking I was doing or not doing or trying to do and failing miserably and he just kept on working our lips and
...OH MY GOD it felt so good, but I shouldn't think that and I wasn't raised to be into kissing boys and oh fuck.
MOTHER, DID I MISS THE CHAPTER WHERE A BOY KISSES ME AND I LIKE IT, and
...MOTHER? MOM? Oh dear..
.
THE ONE TIME IN MY YOUNG LIFE I NEED YOU, AND YOU ABANDON ME IN MY HOUR OF NE..
Oh, never mind.
See, I've never thought of myself as one of '
those', and not certainly one of those BOY kissers/diddlers like Stewie
Barber who SCREAMS everything, wears as few clothes and as much make-up as possible, and who makes me nervous and I have never known why. Nobody messes with
him though. He is the not-so-little brother of the Football team captain who is a BIG dude and has one nasty-ass attitude (
sorta like Hitler had) and so little Stewie gets a pass, or will until he gets to college and away from that brother-shield, and that should prove to be a
significant giggle.
Then, Zach pulled me tighter and who would have thought that was even remotely possible. GOD I am almost crushed to death NOW (our
veins are now merged and carrying the blood of both of us which I do suppose IS a more efficient way of distribution and what am I saying.
.and there we were, and I had NO clue where this was going, but I told myself I was getting off at the next stop, and immediately knew I had not the slightest intention of doing any such thing.
CRAP!
Git a handle on
yo'self, Twit.
All of a sudden I felt Zach beginning to pull back a little and slowly, VERY slowly our lips began to part, which had exactly the same sound effect as that of two
plumbers friends disengaging from a sink drain and normally I would have giggled until I snorted which I do really well, but...
Ok, here I thought we were done kissing BUT
...no.
Zach merely changed
positions pulling me onto his lap and oh
yes remind me to tell you about that lap-passion thing someday and boy
did he have that little movement down, or up, or
...and beginning to do some serious feasting on my neck/ear/cheek/chin
...
My GOD and he just ate two burgers too. Dang.
I was totally unaffected by this of course, while I fainted dead away and the paramedics came and pronounced me silly and I swooned which is really over the top, and then I did giggle, I think, and shit. Then he commenced to do a deadly serious digital cyber
earwash that I just must put in the Guiness Book because it surpassed even my
mothers ear wash adventures of bygone childhood days when I had somehow managed to get half the dirt in the playground in each ear. Oh
yes it was Qtips and vinegar and an auger, a drill, and several members of the wrestling team from Hell, all doing extensive and permanent damage I was convinced
...ALL to extract a little dirt. Geez. What is the problem? My mother always assured me that we already had a garden (several actually) and didn't need another one growing in my ears and even my trying to convince her that that sounded
kewl didn't stop her. I had red ears for decades, ok, I am 16 but it seemed like it.
Ok, what was I saying? Oh yes, about this ear wash from somewhere over the rainbow I was now experiencing compliments mind you of DUH, 'THE DUDE' that I had thought up until about five minutes ago was merely my bestest friend ever. Well, that was what I thought, and I suppose it was a
great start to...whatever this is now and
no I am so not sure.
I wonder...
Then abruptly Zach pulled back a bit again, and stopped. He stopped and just sat looking at me.
"WHAT?"
I think I
snorted but my ability to do
...just about anything up to and including perhaps breathing
...was currently in question, and under repair or demolition or something. Might just need new batteries. I don't know ANYTHING at this point.
"Is it showing?"
"What," he asked.
"What I am feeling?"
"Yes, and it is ok, baby. It is."
I think I had just become overcome with brain freeze, and so I just sat in his lap with our arms around each other (and exactly when did that happen), and looked at him.
How had I missed how hot and hunky and awesome and gorgeous and sweet and loveable Zach is?
Yeh, geez. I AM clueless and SO not alive anymore. Dead as dirt. Yep.
Gonner. Just put a
posie in my folded paws and start shoveling.
WAIT.
I can't believe I have never noticed how GODDAMN HOT DAMN WHEW TAKES MY BREATH AWAY Zach is
...and I just know I blushed once my brain caught up
to the moment and the redness of my entire body was making a nearby rose bush jealous. GOD I'M GOOD. LOL.
Zach leaned into me and said in a soft whisper SO breathy it gave me chills, a hot flash or two, and a stroke, which then caused me to vibrate
...but I
was as always oh
soooo kewl, not to mention adorable.
"You wanted me to do
that you know, Honey. Yes you did and you have for a long time, and so obviously have
I. Honey, I fell for you big time the day we met and that has never changed, and baby
...It never will. I will
always always love you sweetheart
...and I will take real good care of you. I swear, you WILL be loved. I will always take your tears and hide them so you have to smile and feel good, always."
Then he kissed me again, but softer
...more tender, more gentle, and I felt myself careening off the planet headed for some distant galaxy heretofore unknown except to unexpected lovers like us and
boy what a diary entry THIS is
gonna be and I damn near giggled again.
I swear, I can be SO certifiable sometimes.
WELL, C'MON, if he had been kissing YOU, YOU
would uh...umm...YOU would be DEAD now. Kissing MY ZACH, you hussy.
Yep, certifiable. Definitely.
"How do you know that
, Mister?"
I decided to adopt the high and mighty approach which was NOT going to work but oh well. Never does.
"Cause it has been in your eyes, for one thing."
"OH REALLY!"
"Yep, and don't even try to deny it, Mister (boy catches on quick).
"Shit, Ok
...drat," I thought while my tingles went into overdrive and my heart stopped as did my breathing and my future seemed at once both BLEAK and BRIGHT AS FUCK.
I guess I must have looked a bit more like what I was feeling than what I had thought, as Zach suddenly sat up, and began to move back.
"I think
honey you need a bit of time to process all this, and that is
kewl,"
and then he stood up and after leaning down and kissing me deeply again,
LEFT?
FUCK.
You KISS ME and LEAVE? LEAVE? YOU BA
...hunky pile of YOU LEAVE? FUCK.
Uh
...SHIT. Now what, and suddenly it dawned on me he was gone. REALLY...GONE, and I did what any normal beyond the point of reason person would do given the circumstances.
I began to
...cry.
Not the slightest trace of a tear running down one cheek mind you. Just ever so
dramatic and with the correct lighting and all, Cinematic beauty.
OH HELL NO.
I began
to...C R Y.
Sobs. Heaves and GOBS of sobs
...and I
was just SO cute
doncha know and precious and
Good God.
"Why did you leave me here to deal with all this all alone, Zach?
WHY?" I sobbed and stuttered and
...and my crying got worse,
just as I felt arms coming around me and lips beginning to devour
mine, and
...whispers of
"OMG, I am sorry baby. I love you honey, I love you so much. I DO, baby
...sweet JESUS, I love you more than life, honey."
Ok, I guess crying does work sometimes, and I might under other circumstances have commenced to engage in a giggle fit, but...
"GOD, what
do I do now?" I
thought but never got the chance to say cause my Boo went into
lip attack mode and well
...you know what that means.
COMING NEXT:
Zach lays Dylan down and...
Dylan awoke the next morning, in Zach's arms
...both naked and damp. Zach lay snoring softly and love came barrelling down the chute and caught both of them by surprise
...for good. OH YES, for GOOD.
______________________________________________________________
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